Running Into Oblivion,

Nervouswreck

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Title: Nervous Wreck
Type: Navigational

Ran Headlong Into Oblivion

Sweat Drops On My Guitar/Laptop/Whatever

Saturday, March 28, 2009/ 14:11

[Listening To:"Thats What You Get"-Paramore]
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[Playing:"Thats What You Get"-Paramore]

Only recently I realised myself how much me getting to Poly meant for my parents and how much it'll set me apart from my elder sister,and definitely my kid sister.

And I realised I am angry at my two sisters too.
Firstly I wanna talk bout the elder one first.
So well,she didn't do well for her O levels.Well it was her fault.
My mum always said she spent too much time on her art instead of the more important subjects like math and science.
Well I always knew Art was bad,thats why I gave it up even before my sec one year was over.
To tell you the truth,her art wasn't really good.Just a so-so.Don't even know why the hell she couldn't realise that.I mean,for me,Art is something you're born with,not something you try to do or learn.Sure,you can learn airbrush techniques or whatever.But if you dun have a great Art idea that you can use the techniques on,what the friggin use of it?
Anyway,like I said,she spent too much time on doin her Art instead of the other more important subjects.So she didn't get good results.

So she cried.What else could she do?She couldn't blame anyone but herself.
I thought,"Thank God I don't take Art".haha.
And her aggregate score didn't manage to get her to any poly.
Then mum and dad told her,if she still wants to study,they can put her in private school or something.She took the offer.Duh.
But she took Mass Communication.Personally I don't think taking that course in private school is any good since its only for one year and you won't get alot of experience during that one year compared to people taking that course in poly.
Well thats what she wanted,my parents paid for it.
My dad is a good father,he said if I want to study,I dun have to think bout the costs.He can provide it,especially for education.Coz education and knowledge is priceless.

So my sister went to private school.After one year,got good results.
Mind you,private school cost mum and dad 4k.
But the problem is,she couldn't find a job in the mass communication sector.
Up till now she couldn't find.She's working at clothing store.A pretty miserable job for someone with a diploma.
I can't help but think that is she took a diff course,it would be a different story.

So now she's pissed that she couldnt find a proper job,so she complained to my mum about how useless her diploma is!
Can you believe that?Freaking ungrateful!I mean,she was the one who wanted to study at the course!What the hell.
My mum told me she was hurt hearing those words.
I would be too.I mean,it's like,all that money to put her into private school was for nothing.
What the hell is her Goddamn problem?I mean,is it not her choices that led her to this?And she goes around saying her diploma is useless to the people who paid for it.My parents AREN'T rich.That 4k could have been use for other more important things.
If there's one thing I hate,I freaking Hate ungrateful people.
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Now for my kid sister.
If my elder sister was slightly ungrateful,this one is worse!
Unlike my elder sister and me,she didn't get to express stream.
But i'm not criticising her for that.What kind of person would i be then?
Well,anyway,I thought she would at least try to do better and maybe get to Sec 5 and do her O levels and get to poly and stuff.
But now I look at her,my parents look at her and,it's like,she's not even trying.Not even giving a damn.
She's taking her 'N' levels this year.And I thought that would certainly mean something to her but NOoOoOoOo.
She's like,"Ibu I'm goin out today""Abah Im goin out today hehe."
"I'm goin to go work."(She's working at Macdonalds and is apparently,a good worker.Dun ask me why)
And always to me,"Ad i'm using the com later"."Ad I'm using the com tmr"."Ad I'm using the com the next day,and the next day,and..u get it"
Thank god I have a laptop now.
My point is,she does everything BESIDES study and being polite to me for that matter.

You know what,I dun think she studies anythin.Do you know how did she do for her last exam?
She failed EVERYTHING.EV-ER-RY-THING.
And you know how she break the news to my mum?
She was like,"Ibu,I failed every subject for the exams"
Like,WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!?And she's still smiling like she achieved something by failing every damn subject.
And her attitude didn't change.She still go out alot every weekend.
And uses the com almost everyday.I never saw her study.
Well to tell u the truth,I study abit at home during o level year hehe but at least I understood what I studied and learned at school.
She's like,"Study?What the hell is that?"

So I'm starting to worry.How nice a brother am I?Just unappreciated.
I just worry that she might flunk her N levels so bad that she couldn't
go sec five or ITE.Maybe get to stay back or something.
She keeps saying she want to go to ITE(Dun ask me why).But then again,even ITE has some standards right.

So my parents dunno what to do with her.I know my mum just pray to God that somehow she would change and start focusing on studies.
Man I pity Mum and Dad.Thats why it means alot that I got good results and got to poly.

Ah what the hell,my sis wants to fail thats her Goddamn problem.She can work at Macdonald's all her life for all I care.I'm not being harsh.I'm just being realistic.
My mum told me once that my kid sis is a unique one.She can still survive coz she got street smarts.So Education or no education,it doesn't really matter much to her.Sure I sort of agree abit.(She's always a Hot head and manages to piss me off every morning)
But then,we live in a country where qualifications mean everything right.
Haiz,whats the use talking to people like her?Not refering to mom.

*****
Looks like its up to me and my kid brother to have a chance at being succesful.
My kid brother is only Pri 2 now.He's starting slow just like me when I was just starting pri school.But I noe he's a smart one.I just hope,he won't make the mistakes my sisters did or will be doin.

Wah so long ah my post?I understand if y'all dun read everything here haha.
Take care y'all.

I just feel the need to put all my thoughts here.
Not putting will just feed my anger.