Running Into Oblivion,

Nervouswreck

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Title: Nervous Wreck
Type: Navigational

Ran Headlong Into Oblivion

Over My Head

Friday, August 22, 2008/ 22:12

[Mood:Nutty With A Tinge Of Misery]
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Listening To:"My Heart" -Paramore
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Hello again guys.

Wait,I'm not sure if I should say "Guys",

Coz I think only a couple of people read this blog haha.

Ah whatever.

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I can't help but feel like my life is so mundane right now.

It's just so uneventful that it's kinda nerve-wrecking and I don't even

know how the hell I got to that.

Nothing is happening to me and nothing is happening For me.

That's basically all that I've got to say bout my state of mind.

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Got a smile from Eleanor today.Can't remember any other good things that happen today..

I wanna talk to her,but I dunno when's the right time to approach and say hi.

It's the simplest of matters and yet it's becoming more and more complicated.

I'm just pathetic,I know.

What the hell am I hoping on I wonder?

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Hmm I notice that I'm a little crazy when I'm at home.I keep annoying my sisters with stupid sounds.I don't really know why,but whenever I hear a weird or annoying sound on TV,I just have to mimick the sound for hundreds of times.

Something is seriously wrong with me hahaha.

However I'm pretty different when I'm in school.I still am abit crazy,especially when I talk to Najwan or Shichang.(They're both crazy too),but I also feel sorta miserable and I just can't explain why.

It just goes to show that I'm a different person whenever I leave the house.

I bet everyone else is like that too.

Or maybe it's just me.Maybe I have a split personality or something.

That'll be cool haha.

I don't know which "Me" is better though haha.

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***

It Seems That Everytime I Open My Mouth,Garbage Comes Spilling Out.

And Everytime I Open My Ears To Listen,Garbage Goes In.

So I Take In A Large Amount Of Garbage All Day,Everyday.

I Got No One Else To Thank For But Myself.....AND Maybe The People Around Me.

Thanks For Filling My Head With Garbage People.

Now It's My Turn.....Muahahahaha!

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Man,I Wonder How Much Therapy I Need.

***

Game Over.Press Continue.

Pre-Eng Oral

Friday, August 15, 2008/ 21:40

[Mood:I'm Doin Okay...I Think]
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Song In My Head:"For A Pessimist,I'm Pretty Optimistic" -Paramore
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Well the week is certainly goin better for me.But too bad,it's the weekend already..

No wait,It's not that I hate weekends it's just that....err... uh...Arh I dunno what

to say haha.Just complicated I think.haha.

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I decided not to retake O lvl Malay again.It's not that I'm satisfied with

gettin a B4,I am disappointed to get B4 as I was hoping to get B3,but then again,I gotta focus on my other subjects so that's why I'm not retaking.

I gotta focus more especially on my maths.Damn I think I need a study partner.

Like seriously haha.But then,who the hell wants to be my study partner?haha.

I guess I'm better off on my own haha Unless YOU,the reader,somehow are lookin for a study partner.

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I had my O Lvl English Oral yesterday.I must say,I think I did rather good haha.

I never stuttered when I read the passage.And I think I did the conversation

part ok.I dunno why but the whole session felt rather too quick.

I dunno if that's good or not.No,I really don't and I dun wanna think bout it much too.

The teachers who were testing me are rather pretty hehe.Lucky me,I got the group with the hot teachers hahaha.

One of them looks eurasian and the other chinese.

Thank God I never got the Ang Moh teacher coz I heard from the others that he was pretty damn strict and sarcastic when the candidates make a mistake.

Phew.

Well,I'm just glad it's over that's all.

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FRIDAY 15/8/08

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Today was actually a rather fun day to me.But if I had got a smile from Eleanor,

it would've been better.Her smile keeps me up.

Still,I'm not complainin much,I enjoyed today.

Now,I'm with the "Ain't Gonna Retake" Group in mothertongue class.haha No,what I mean is that I now have to sit away from the middle of the class since

I'm not retaking Malay O lvls and it's also to make space for those who are retaking.

I must say,I'm quite surprise that there are alot in my MT class who're retaking.

Some even got a higher Grade than me.I just hope they know what they're dong

coz they still got other subjects y'know.

Eleanor's retaking too.I hope she'll do better.....No,I'm SURE she'll do better.

Gd luck in your studies ok.I'm behind ya all the way.haha.

What kind of crappy prep talk is that?Only and Idiot like me would come up

with that.(Sigh)

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After school,I went to friday prayers with Hadi and the guys.

Then I went to Hadi's house with guys too.

Played games there all day haha.

Iskandar rules in FIFA 06!haha he made me freaking stressed when I played against him haha seriously but I managed to beat him a couple of times haha

The only guy there who's able to do it hehe Ceh Ceh.

Then I got home late hehe.Still,I had a swinging good time.

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Song Verse Of The Day:"Just Talk Yourself Up,And Tear Yourself Down.You've Hit Your One Wall,Now Find Away Around..........I'm Not So Naive,My Sorry Eyes Can See" Paramore-For A Pessimist,I'm Pretty Optimistic

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And That's What I Am.A Pessimist Who's Pretty Optimistic.

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P.S Why Else Am I Here For If It's Not For You?

The Perfect Words Never Crossed My Mind Coz There Was Nothin In There But You.

Honestly,It's The Truth.

And Thanks For Everything Too.

And That's What I Get For Caring

Wednesday, August 13, 2008/ 21:01

And Thats What I Get For Caring.

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Listening To:That's What You Get-Paramore

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Mood:Feel Like Crap.

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Well uhh uhhh well uhh

I'm Sixteen Now I Guess.

Hmm....Now what do huh?haha.

Well my birthday was a boring affair I guess.

For those of you who didn't know,my birthday was on monday.

11/08/08

Yea as I said,it's a boring affair haha.

The day before and the day after was way way more eventfull haha.

My family celebrate me and my sisters' birthdays on the Sunday.

My elder sister has the same birthday as me and she's exactly a year older

than me.

My younger sis' birthday was on last friday.

Awesome date it was.

08/08/08 haha see what I mean?haha.

So yea my family celebrated by goin out to eat at Sarpino's pizzeria.

In my opinion,the best pizza around!Way better than Pizza Hut or Canadian

Pizza.I mean,their Large pizza is like,way way bigger than pizza hut's

large pizzas haha.

Awesome food.Just Awesome.

You should try it seriously!Seriously not kidding!

Wait,why am I advertising here?

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Now lets talk bout the presents haha.

Hmm I only got about three haha.

It's sad,I know haha.

I don't expect to get more than two anyway haha.

The first one is a fifty dollar note from my dad.

I seriously wanna save that money.

Oh God,please help me so that I wouldn't spend it on anything stupid.

The next one,I got a Polo T from my sis.

My first ever!(Not counting the school polo T haha)

Seriously haha.

Its a nice looking one too haha.

I got her an album.Riot! By Paramore.

Wow I must say,I think I bought myself a present too by buying that album.

I mean,the songs are so freaking awesome!

I love Paramore totally!They freaking Rock!

And Haley William's voice is just so amazing haha.And she's pretty too hehe.

haha now I know what I've been missing out on Zira haha.

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The last present I got was a rather special one to me.

Remember when I said Eleanor was goin to get me somethin?

Well she did get me something.

Well not exactly "get",but "Made" haha.

Well what do I mean you ask?

She made me a bookmark and birthday card.

The bookmark is beautifully made,complete with my name on it on the front and

a date and a small signature on the back.

It's very special to me coz,no one ever made me a present before,

no one ever wrote me a nice birthday card like her's before

Man I sound like I never had a life haha.

And knowing that it's the first time she gave me a present and that she gave time to make it so good,makes it even more special and unforgettable.

I don't even think I deserve it.

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That's The Best Part Of This Week.

But When There's A Best Part,There'll

Always Be A Worst Part.

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Tuesday.12/08/08.

She gave me the present that morning.But a couple of hours after that,

the worst part happened.

The sec four Es and the 5 NAs were getting their malay O level results back.

To tell you the truth,I was really,really anxious about it all.

To make things worst,just before I got the results,I just had this bad feeling about something that's goin to happen.

What's weird is that,the feeling was about someone else and not me.

It's all so weird and mysterious somehow.

Well anyway I got B4 for my malay.Quite disappointed really.

I was hoping to get B3.I know I did my best but somehow,it just wasn't enough.

At least I passed.But when I looked around me,there was a problem.

I couldn't find Eleanor.Then I went outside the Rifle Range room with my friends.

I was walking halfway down the stairs when I decided to walk back up again.

Then I saw her.Something was way wrong.

I walked to her.Then I realised she was crying.

I came to her side and asked her what she got.

She did pass but it wasn't that good.Lower than waht I got.

I looked at her and I just felt so damn sad.I never felt like it before.

Her classmate was beside her,trying to comfort her.And I stood there,not saying a word the whole time.I just feel so damn stupid not saying anything to her then.

But I just didn't know what to tell her.Thats the most useless I ever felt at anytime.

I think she's disappointed in me now because of that.And I'm so

disappointed in myself coz of that too.

Then she went away by herself,took a last glance at me,still with tears flowing down her cheeks.

I glanced back,expressionless.

Stupid,stupid,stupid.

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And Then I Was Quiet For The Rest Of The Day

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But That Was Yesterday.

Things Should Be Better Now.

I Hope.

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Song Verse Of The Day:"Pain,Make Your Way To Me(To Me),

And I'll Always Be Just So Inviting.If I Ever Start To Think Straight,This Heart Will Start A Riot In Me" Paramore-That's What You Get

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It Just Breaks My Heart To See Her Cry Like That.

God,I'm So Stupid And Useless.

I'm Starting To Accept The Fact That I Can Never Be

More Than Just A Friend To Her.

That's Me,Just A Friend.

But I'll Always Be Just So Inviting.

Lost A Relative

Friday, August 8, 2008/ 21:20

Song In My Head:Whatever It Takes-Lifehouse
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Mood:I'm Doin OK
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Wow,this week is rather eventful for me,Good or bad.

I wanna get all the sad stuff out the way first so bear with me here.

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Oh boy I dunno where to start.

Hmm haiz...

Well my uhh my cousin's husband,passed away in the night of the 4th of August 2008.He was only 40.He left his wife and three kids.One,a boy,12 years old,havin

his PSLE this year.Another,a boy,11 years old.And lastly,a girl,2-3 years old.

His passing is very much,a shock to me.When I heard from my mum who received

the call,I thought it was just a bad attempt at a joke,but then again,nobody jokes about stuff like this.

I'm just shocked.I still am right now.

It just goes to show that we can never be sure when our last day on this Earth

will be.It could be Early,it could be Late.

I hope mine will be late and not early.There's a ton of things I still havent

got a chance to do.....like being on a date(seriously,havent been on one!) or bungee jumping or something.

Nah seriously,we can never be sure bout death.

So yea,be nice while you can people.

Just Do It.

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On a happier note.....

I'm Gonna Be 6Teen On Monday!Haha Awesome!

Haha I'm not expecting alot of presents though haha.

I never had much from my past birthdays haha.Well it doesn't bother me though.

But Eleanor told me before that I'm gonna get somethin and I totally can't

wait for that haha.I'm so anxious of what she's goin to get me haha.

I don't expect anything grand though haha.

Hmm My sister's birthday's on monday too haha and i'll be gettin her something and she told me she got me something already.

Hmm Awesome!I think it's goin to be my favourite birthday in many years even though I'll be gettin a couple of presents only haha.

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Also,as I'm sure everybody knows,well if you don't then I bet your not a Singaporean,Tomorrow is Singapore's 43 Birthday!Woo!Awesome!

Yea its time to bring out the flag from inside you closet!

Sing some national day songs!

Have a great day tomorrow!

And for those of you who ain't got tickets to watch NDP 08 tomorrow,have a great time sittin at home watching your TV!

See,TV's not all bad,its a good way to spread patriotism to the people.....

and maybe some propaganda too haha.

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Hmm I know I havent been bloggin much lately,I'm sorry bout that.

I just can't seem to find the right time to blog and also,everytime I wanna

blog,I just dunno what to say.

There's alot of stuff in my head right now but it's just so hard to put it down

in this blog haha.

Sometimes its because,I couldn't find the right words and other times,there some things I don't want some people to read bout.Either good or bad.

So anyway guys,have a great day tmr and may God bless you all.

I will try to post more alright haha.

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You Know What I Want?

I Wanna To Talk To Eleanor.

I Wanna Talk Bout Other Stuff.

Coz,Almost Always,When I Talk To Her,It'll Be About Our Friends'

Problems.Well,Her Friend,And My Friend.

And That Sucks Coz That's All We'd Be Talkin Bout.

I Just Wanna Know More Bout Her.

I Wanna Know Her Likes And Dislikes,And Everything

Else.

I Wanna Talk To Her Bout The Weather,Bout The Awesome Shows On TV,

Bout The Places We Wanna Go,Bout The People We Wanna Be,

Bout Our Families And Everything Else That We Should Be Talking Bout.But Then Again,I'm Not Much Of A Talker And I Always

Have Difficulties Trying To Say What I Wanted To Say Exactly.

Man I'm Such A Killjoy And My Mouth Is A Spoilsport.

At Any Time,I'm Either Too Fast,Or Too Slow For The World.

That,I Think,Is Why I'm Pretty Much Misunderstood.

G'night People,G'night Eleanor.