Running Into Oblivion,

Nervouswreck

Hey There,I'm Fuad.This Is My Blog And My Thoughts Here.
The Navigations Are Below.(The Words).
So yea...What More There Is To Say?

MixPod.com

profile journal say what? affiliates

for ur bloody info

Title: Nervous Wreck
Type: Navigational

Ran Headlong Into Oblivion

Untitled

Friday, May 23, 2008/ 15:46

The Last Day

(at least for this semester)

And Conflicts In This Boy's Head

------------------------------------

Mood:Pretty

Religious.

Divided In

The Head.

----------------

Its hard to believe.

The last day of school for the semester just passed.

I guess when you're in sec four,last days of school or holidays

doesn't seem to hold much excitement anymore.

Remember when you're in primary school?

It was the last day of school.

Everybody's in a good mood.

And just keep smiling to yourself,wonderin what

the holidays would bring.

What a good feeling it was.

However,you just don't recognise or register that feeling anymore.

The only thing you feel now is Relief.

You'll say to yourself,

"Ah Finally!School is Over!"

But wait now,If you're in sec four,that would

Just be a lie.

Coz well,like me,you'll still have classes in the holidays.

So much for "last day of school".

----------------------------------

Today was nice.

I think.

Well it was careers day.

I signed up and attended two talks;

First one is for Republic Poly

Second one is for Ngee An Poly.

The talk on republic poly was ok.

It failed tryin to inspire me to join republic haha.

I'm not interested in republic poly anyway.

They keep talkin bout their way of teaching;

Problem Based Learning.

No more lectures they say.

Sure its good and you get to work in teams,

But still,you've already spend about ten years

studying by lectures from your teachers.

I think it'll be hard to quickly adapt to the Republic method.

What's more,the speaker say's the method is good

as it quickly prepares you for working life.

But what if I want to go to a University?

Surely it'll be harder for me to study coz' I'll get

lectures in Universities.

--------------------------

The republic method prepares you for work life,

but it doesn't exactly prepare you for University life.

And Beyond.

And Republic Polytechnic does not have the courses

the I want.

Case Closed.

And Lut,no need for your opinions thank you.

Anti-Ngee An.haha

------------------------------

The Ngee An Poly talk was beta in my opinion.

Though the speaker was pretty weird

(He was wearing a Superman Tie)

But he made sense in the talk.

The talk was mainly on Ngee An's

School of Film And Media Studies.

I can say I've always been interested in The School.

Besides havin dreams of being a Fighter Pilot,

which I seriously doubt I can be,

I also have dreams of being a Film maker though

I still can't figure out a specific career in film making.

Hmm maybe Scriptwriter?hehe

I might even be a DJ for a radion station if I'm good enough

to get into Mass Communication course!

That'd be nice.But I guess people might

get sick of hearin my voice everyday.haha.

----------------------------------------------

Who knows eh?If I get into the film making industry,

The next blockbuster could just have my name in the credits.

Maybe even under the "Directed By.."line.

Of course,people would have problems

pronouncing my name.

But I don't mind people callin me Ford(somethin like that),

just please don't call me "Fa-ood"

No,just no.

------------------

Or simply put,call me Ad.

Coz that who I am;

Simply Ad

Nothin More,Nothing Less.

And no I'm not tryin to mimick Mr Teo.

-----------------------------------

"HELP Us To HELP You!"

haha

Even better,

"OWN Your OWN Behaviour!"

Hahahaha!

Seriously man,where the hell does he get all these?

Those words leave an impact to a student like me.

In The Wrong Way.

Hilariously.

----------------------------------

Song Verse Of The Day:"You're Lookin For Somethin

You Can't Find.If You Give It Up,You'll Lose Your Mind

There's Always Something In Your Way,

What Can You Say?

You're Gonna Have A Good Day!"

The Click Five-Good Day

---------------------------

Words From Your Writer:"Fish Is To Water As Fuad

Is To.....[Drown??]

Bird Is To Sky As Fuad Is To...[Fall Face Flat On The Ground??] Hey it rhymes!"

------------------------

P.S Should I ask her to go with me to cultural night?

I have a fear of being rejected.

Thats weirdly funny,haha.

--------------

Yours Truly(Unfortunately,Scarily)

PhD Fuad

(As in Permanent Head Damage)

The Calm Before The Storm

Thursday, May 22, 2008/ 20:33

The Calm Before The Storm

-------------------------------------

Mood:Bored Beyond

Words.

I guess it's kinda been a long time since I posted in my blog.I just don't have much words to say these days.

I can say I've been pretty busy.

Well maybe not busy doin work but busy in doin....uhh

in being Idle hehe.

Like that Oasis song,"The Importance Of Being Idle"

One of my favourite bands but I never heard that song before hehe.

----------------------------------------------

So Yea I've been busy bein Idle,doin some work,watchin the Indiana Jones series,watchin Lord Of The Rings again and thinkin bout well,you know,life and all that.

---------------------------------------------

Somethin I have to say here,I LOVE The Lord Of The Rings trilogy!One of the greatest trilogies of all time!

and Its books are one of the greatest of all time too!

haha I guess I'm a fan huh.Probably the biggest fan in uhh

choa chu kang.

Hmm maybe I'm a nerd...

---------------------------

Anyway,this week,my classes was pretty special.I had to go through intensive malay revision for the whole day for

five days.

The express malay classes joined up so we were like a whole bunch of students studyin inside one malay room.

Cool.

----------------------------------------------------

My teacher brought food and she wanted us to bring food too so that we could eat in class.Thats what some of us did.

But I didn't,I didn't have anythin to bring.

------------------------------------------

Eleanor brought uhh brownies I think,on wednesday but I never tried one.I forgot to try one as I left the class.Ah too bad eh.

------------------------------------------------

Today's lesson was pretty special.Cikgu Salha brought us Brownies.They were ordered I think.Those brownies were nice.

Then Cikgu Salha invited Khairul from class 4-5 to say a prayer for us so that we would do well for O level malay next week.

He's a cool guy.I never would have been able to do what he did though I'm a pretty religious guy.haha.

Well I noe God is with me for my Os.

And I hope God is with those of u sittin for Os too.

--------------------------------------------

After That,I'm goin to have two more weeks worth of classes!Man I'm gonna die of boredom.But I can't complain.

I have to study anyway.I just can't risk flunkin My Os.

I remember what Mr Nathan Said.

"O levels is the last great obstacle for you.After that,everything will be easy."

I think he's kinda right u noe.

-------------------------------

I'm surprised at how calm I am.I guess my body is experiencing what I call,The Calm Before The Storm.

I just hope there will be no cyclones crashin into me haha.

---------------------------------------------------

In tribute of The Lord Of The Rings.

Song Of The Day:

"Oh Mist Behind,The World Ahead

There Are Many Paths To Thread

Through Shadow,Through The Edge Of Night

Untill The Stars Are All Alight

Mist And Shadow,Cloud And Shade

All Shall Fade,....All Shall......Fade"

Lotr The Return Of The King-Pippin's Song

---------------------------------------------------

P.S I bought Tickets for the school's Cultural Night

In July.

I am thinkin of askin Eleanor to go with me.

If her mum doesn't mind,that is.haha.

I know,I'm as good as not goin with her haha!

-------

Sincerely

Fuad

Rain Drops

Wednesday, May 14, 2008/ 15:26

Rain Walker

-------------------

Mood:Don't Ask Me

Bout My Day.

------------------

I walked in the rain today.

You know when it rains you'll usually walk fast?or keep your head down?

Well I didn't..somehow.

I walked slow.Like very slowly for a guy who usually walks fast.And I kept my head up.Rain wasn't just pourin on my head,it was pourin on my face,As if it was cleaning not just the face,but the mind.

I gotta admit,I like to feel the rain on my face.

But I still hate to feel the wetness of my feet.Damn.

Well,sneakers aren't exactly waterproof,I know haha.

You just can't have everything you know.

----------------------------------------

I didn't thought of the rain because I was thinkin of something else.Alot of things actually.I can't even remember some of 'em.In fact,I'm not even sure of what I had thought about just now to type it here.

Well one of em was bout Eleanor.(Well duh.)But I'm not sure of what I thought bout exactly.

Its just one of those thoughts that keep runnin over and over again in your mind.If you know what I mean.

----------------------------------------------------

The same Questions keep popping in my head.And are still unanswered.

-----------------

"What am I goin to do now?"

"What am I goin to do later?"

"Am I really goin to start studyin properly now?"

"What am I feeling now exactly?"

"What am I searching for?"

"Is she really what I need?"

"Should I just forget bout the whole damn thing?"

"If so,how the hell am I goin to do it?"

-------------------------------------

"Am I good enough?For her?"

------------------

"Do I suck at talking bout feelings?"

I guess so.

"Am I really that stupid?"

I don't think so.

"Will I ever be good enough?"

I hope so.

"Spaghetti or Baked Pasta?"

Spaghetti

"Do I look..uhh good-looking?"

Gee I dunno.

"What can I say bout my life?"

I can say it's brilliant.In some way.

What with teenage stuff and fallin in love and all that crap.

"Lastly,Who am I?"

Who am I?I am Spider-rre uh Fuad!Hehe I'm Fuad.

And You Are?

------------

Anyway,when I reach my house door,I realised my clothes were wet.Really wet.Obviously,my mum would think that I didn't bother to run.Hmm what am I goin to tell her if she asks?Ahh to hell with it,I thought.I dun get sick from the rain anyway.

-------------------------------------------

Nothing Can Bring Me Down.

Nothing Crushes Me.

Nothing.

--------

Quote From Tv:

Peter Petrelli:"May We Recognise Our Destiny

When We See It"

-Heroes

-------

Song Verse Of The Day:"I Could Walk,This Fine Line.Between Elation And Success.We All Know Which Way I'm Going,So Strike A Stake Between My Chest.

....Can't Do It By Myself" Fall Out Boy-Reinventing The Wheel To Run Myself Over

---------------------------------------

Phew,thank god people didn't find out that I'm

Spiderman.Oops.

I Feel Like Talkin To Eleanor.

Maybe Not Talk,Just Listen.

A Lost Cause,A Long Shot

Friday, May 9, 2008/ 21:21

A Lost Cause,A Long Shot

Mood:Happy..

Relaxed..

So.....Its Over!Its finally freaking over!Wahahaha!Yee Haw!

My exams are over yea!

So..uhh...yea...its...over....Now what am I suppose to do?

The daily routine I guess.

So yea i had a pretty good weekend.I bought a new pair of sneakers.A pair of Converse High Tops.Cool.I always wanted one of those haha.

And my elder sister,Atikah,just bought her laptop which she "needed" for school haha.Yea I'm gonna put some games in it and then we're talkin man.And my little sister,Adilah,just got her handphone yesterday.She got that sony shaker phone or somethin.See,I dun bother much haha.And whatever you say,

I AM NOT JEALOUS.

-----------------------------------------------------

My Results.

-----------------------------------------------------

Today I got my exam results back.Its pretty much what I expected.I failed two subjects,two subjects that uses ur knowledge of numbers.Yup,Maths and Poa.I guess,numbers just don't register in my brain..haha.Still,I passed the rest of my subjects,which is good...I think.But all the marks i got we'rent that great.I'm kinda not satisfied with myself.I know i could do beta.For the first time in my life,I actually felt that i really need to start studyin well.A sense of urgency and importance was felt today.God,I think my eyes are open now.I'll make sure I'll try my best coz I know I can do better.

Hopefully,I will do better.May Allah help me.

---------------------------------------------------------

I pity my friend,Najwan.He only passed one subject,though we still havent get our full english marks.Hopefully he passed it.He only passed Malay language.I could see the look on his face when he realised that he only passed one subject.Well he's not down or anythin and thats good.He's kinda like me,he doesn't like to feel down.So yea we still manage to crack jokes bout the people and the world.But I know he was disappointed with himself.I'm sure he'll do good in his 'O's.And I'm with him man!We're laughing buddies hahaha not.

Shichang didn't come to school today.That's smart of him to not come to school when we're gonna get back our results.Sucks for him I guess.

And Mimi,well,I dunno how she did for all of it,but I knew it wasn't as good as I did by the looks of her face.I wanted to say somethin today,but I dunno what happened so I didn't spoke to her or anythin.I did catch her eye for a few seconds but we never even smiled or anythin.Stupid.

---------------------------------------------------

The Bus Ride

-----------------------------------------------------

It was just after school.I was chattin with some Lut and some other friends.I decided to join Lut,Hadi,Taufiq and Pritpal in goin to the gym later this afternoon.So I had to get home first.

I saw Eleanor walkin towards the foyer so I decided to catch up with her.

I did and then I asked her bout her results but she told me she'll tell me later.She asked me which bus I'm takin.Then she said she'll take the same bus with me.

"Cool",I thought.

While waitin for the damn bus,we chatted bout our results.She talked more then I did.Shame on me I guess haha.I just had to let her talk.I think guys are suppose to do that.Just let girls talk,and we guys just listen,and talk abit.I dunno,but I did that.

Besides I just kept thinkin,"Arh!What am i gonna say next?".

I just listened to her talk and answered her when she asks me a question.I dunno,maybe I'm just a boring guy.

YOU BE THE JUDGE.

Then the bus came,thank god I thought.I was weak around the ankles at the time and I dunno why.

Eleanor got in the bus first.A couple of idiot kids blocked my way.I had a rough time gettin in but I did get in.

I looked for Eleanor and I found her sittin beside the window,somewhere in the mid part of the bus.

------------------------------------------------------

Questions raced through my mind,"Should I sit beside her or what?"I didn't noe.But she did say she's takin the bus with me.WITH ME.So I uhh uhh Argh!!Whatever!I sat beside her anyway.

By the way,I saw Faree two seats behind me.Woa I can see it now,Tmr,she'll be like "hey Fuad I saw u with someone yesterday haha".

then I'll be like,"Ouh u saw me?I thought all u can look at was the mirror hahaha High Five!"

Then she'll be like"grrr I hate You haha"

Then I'll say,"wow,now why does that not surprise me hmm?"haha

ok Back to the matter in hand.

Eleanor and me continued talkin on the bus.Well i did made her laugh abit...I think.

When the bus came to my stop,I realised I didn't press the bell,so the bus didn't stop.Stupid Fuad.Eleanor realised that too haha.I just laughed.So she pressed the bell fr me so I could alight at the next stop.I muttered "haha thanks".

I said Bye to her and then I got off the bus.

I had to walk further to reach home haha,but it was all worth it.

I thought i had a good chat with her.I wish i could talk to her again.I dun mind listening to her all day haha.

-----------------------------------------------------

After I relaxed at home for awhile,I met up with Lut and the rest and we went to the Gym.

----------------------------------------------------

I know,I dun look like a Guy who works out.

And Today was a nice,HOT,day.

----------------------------------------------------

Song Line Of The Day:"So You Stole My World.Now I'm Just A Phony.Remembering The Girl,Leaves Me Down And Lonely." Vertical Horizon-Best I Ever Had(Grey Sky Morning)

Sweaty Palms & Almost Paper Cuts

Wednesday, May 7, 2008/ 15:01

Sweaty Palms
& Almost Paper Cuts

Mood:Preet-ty
Stupid..
FUBAR
(Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition)
----------------------------------------

Well I realised I never spoke much bout the exams,so today,I will.Just so you guys would know how stupid I am.haha.

I had my weakest subject today,yup you guessed it,Maths.
I just wonder how can five letters mean something soo Evil.haha.Well whats worse,it was maths paper 2!
Well I had poa paper 1 too.

So there I was gettin ready for it.No,TRYING to get ready.
I put my bag at the back of the hall,and took out my pencil case.I saw Eleanor walkin towards me.So we both said Good Luck to each other.And smiled too.We actually chatted last night bout today.She told me she isn't that good in maths,but I know she is one Smart girl.I told her I have never actually passed a maths exam in secondary school.So yea,I suck at math.

So she told me goodluck,God knows I was goin to need all the luck I could effin get.

I recieved the question paper and the foolscap paper.Wait,why does foolscap paper called foolscap?anyway when I look at the total marks for the paper I was Like,

"Holy Crap!100 Marks!?You Gotta Be Fucking Kidding Me!"

Wel,obviously,the paper wasn't kidding with me.Well if it did,it would probably sound like this,

Paper:"Ha!April Fools!Haha Caught u didn't I?
Me:"April Fools?Its Freaking May!"
Paper:"Ah Well what do u know.."
Me:"What do u noe?You're just a piece of paper!You're not even suppose to talk.And what am I doin talkin to a piece of Paper?"

So yea I told myself,"Here we go Fuad.May God help you."

What thats all you got?Last words of a doomed mathematician really..Not.

"C'mon Brain!We can do this shit!"

Brain:"You're On Your Own Pal"

I did the best I could for maths today.But I know it wasn't enough.I know i need all the help I could get for 'O's.Who knew one letter could create so much terror in a teenager's life.Well some of us really,others dun seem to give a damn much.Well all I can say to them is,"Its Your Funeral!And I aint Gonna Freakin Be There To Watch It!"

So POA,hmm I dun even wanna talk bout it.I mean I'm not that bad in POA but just know that I dun ever wanna be an Accountant.You guys are my witnesses.Where's my secretary?Record this down!

yea so,I got wait...1...2...3..3 papers tomorrow!Arh the horror!
Maths paper 1,Chemistry and Geography!Ah Fuck!
Wait,what am I doin here?I shud be revising my head off!Literally.Ah,a few more minutes wouldn't hurt I guess.hehe.

Hmm two more days of Brain Torture and we shall have Freedom!Still,I can't imagine myself doin anythin much after friday's papers.Go home,relax,go friday prayer and maybe crash at Hadi's house to goof off or something.Well like it or not,thats freedom.

Mimi spoke to me today,well she just asked me how did I do for maths thats all.I told her "yea I did ok..I think" and then she smiled and walked back to her table.Its been a long time since she did that.I could only smile to myself.

Hmm I gotta msg Eleanor now and ask her how she did today so Later guys.Man,I'm over my head.Out.

Quote From TV:"Alright...Don't...Freak out..." Chuck From Chuck Tv series.

Song Verse Of The Day:"Can You Imagine No First Dance,Freeze Dried Romance,Five Hour Phone Conversation,The Best Soya Latte That You Ever Had And...Me?" Train-Drops Of Jupiter

A Helluva Time!

Thursday, May 1, 2008/ 22:02

A Helluva Night!

Went to Nurul's Birthday party Last night.It Was Awesome!

It was nearly six.I was in my room,gettin ready.I put on my New Topman Jeans.Put on a purple long sleeve shirt.Then I put on a black jacket with purple lining and purple inside.
What's with all the Purple you ask?
Well the dress code was purple.haha.

After all that.I said goodbye to my lil brotha and my dad,got to the door and put on my sneakers and I got out of the house.
I'm surprised that my dad was ok with me goin out in the evening.Usually he'll be like abit angry and not talking to me,but yesterday,he was all ok and smiling.Haha I'll never understand my dad haha.
So yea,I was on my way to the party.I had to wait bout half an hour at a bustop just so I could meet up with Shichang and as a result,we were late in meeting up with Lut at CCK station haha.

So me and Shichang met up with Lut,Matthew,Faree and Shazana.Then we went to Popular to get Nurul a present haha.
Anyway then we made our way to Nurul's house.After a couple of roads crossed and lots of crap-talking,We were there!
We were welcomed loudly.Like seriously,loud.But thats what a party suppose to sound like haha.Well there were Nurul's family and relatives and another group.The group with all the sound;Friends.Haha.They were all girls!So after a quick count,I realised there were only 4 friends of Nurul who were guys.Me,Lut,Matthew and Shichang haha.Well I didn't complain hehe.

So we sat around,chatted around and joked around and ate around haha.There were lotsa food.Plenty for everyone.
Then I realised most of us didn't pay attention to the dress code haha.I was the only guy wearin purple.I remembered Zahirah and another girl wearin purple.
I thought Zahirah looked nice.
I never actually spoke to her much though.Sad ah I guess.
The birthday girl wore purple too.Well duh she was the one who set the dress code haha.And Mimi wore green.She looks good in green.Lut wore a buttoned long sleeved shirt.A mixture of brown colours.Come to think of it,I've never seen Lut wearin that kind of shirt haha.Faree was sporting her usual Emo Look haha.And she kept looking at the mirror haha.Like can I say VAIN.You Hear That Faree!hahaha!
Wait!What am I?A fashion critic or something?haha!

Anyway then we played some silly games outside of the house.Then got back in the house.Then everybody went down the block.(Nurul's house was on the second floor)
And we played uhh what dthey call it?Dancing Newspaper??
Well its like musical chairs.Only crazier with all the girls.I mean,they just don't want to lose haha!As the newspapers were taken away after each turn,the girls get more desperate to survive.They even carried each other!one newspaper must only hold Four legs.So imagine like five people on one newspaper.One being carried and the other four on one leg.HAHA!Hilarity Ensured.
Hell,Shichang had to carry Mimi on his back!And I had to carry a kid and balance on one leg!It was Totally Crazy and Fun at the same time haha!
At last,Mimi won the game.Good for her haha.
Simply put,It was one of the craziest game I've ever participated in haha.We were all laughing like mad haha.

After that,we went back up to Nurul's house,grab drinks and relaxed outside her house.Then Shichang shared jokes with the girls haha.Well all the 4-7 people knew those Jokes but we laughed anyway since the other people didn't know those Jokes.haha.Shichang is a funny guy haha.Then we chatted bout where each of us wants to go after the secondary school.I told them I wanna go Ngee An Poly.Then Zahirah asked me what course I want to take.I took quite a while to answer haha.Then I told her,"..maybe Film,Media and Sound or aeronautical engineering..".But I forgot to ask her bout which course she wants.Well,I guess I'll ask her next time.Yea I will.

So Shichang was being Lame with Maisarah at the time so she called him a NOOB haha.I wanted to follow through and call Shichang NOOB too.But me and Zahirah said NOOB at the same time haha!Well I guess we're both Jinxed now hahaha.Cool.

After all the Gummy bears and the sparkling juice were passed around,we went back in for a last phototaking before goin home.Well you can see the photos on Maisarah's Friendster if you want.Then everybody went home.Hahaha.

I checked My watch and it was 2200 hrs.Cool.I survived a party.haha.Sry I didn't fill you guys in with more detail haha.Well just so u know,I had a helluva Night!

Night.

Song Verse Of The Day:"..It's Not Over Tonight... Just Give Me One More Chance To Make It Right.I May Not Make It Through The Night,I Won't Go Home Without You.." Maroon 5-Won't Go Home Without You