Running Into Oblivion,

Nervouswreck

Hey There,I'm Fuad.This Is My Blog And My Thoughts Here.
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Title: Nervous Wreck
Type: Navigational

Ran Headlong Into Oblivion

Nothing Makes Sense Anymore.Nothing.

Saturday, March 29, 2008/ 21:40

Nothing Makes Much Sense Anymore.
But It Makes A Lot Of Sense That I'm Confused..

Hey guys.My Saturday was ok.I went out to the Library and borrowed some books haha I'm quite a bookworm I noe.Unusual for a guy like me.Anyway I wanna get straight to the point here,about my life right now.

I don't know where my teenage life is taking me.I don't know what's happening these days.I don't know why this is happening.I don't know what's the point of it all.I don't know what I'm really feeling in my heart.I don't know what I'm really thinkin in my head.And now I'm not sure who I truly love..Seriously.

Everytime I look into Eleanor's eyes,it just give me some sort of hope.And somehow I think she sorta likes me too.But still,she has boyfriend.So I just don't know what to do.And she just started talkin to me a these few days.Yesterday,she I was reading a book in geog class.(the teacher didn't come.So the relief teacher came.)She sits at the other side of the class.She was doin work.The class was noisy.When I turned to her she was lookin at me.Then she asked me what book I was readin.I couldn't think of any reason why she would want to know what book I'm readin.And I'm shocked that she is talkin to me even though we're tables apart.
So I told her the book was called Radio Radio.She didn't hear me well coz the class was noisy.Then she asked me whether it was a good read.I thought the book was kinda boring but I showed her the 'Ok' sign.Then she smiled at me,nodding her head.I just smiled back at her.She then returned to her work and me,the book.I was just dumbstrucked.The whole thing didn't make much sense to me.Its like she is suddenly interested in talkin to me,Interested in the things I do or say.
Which is why I'm so confused right now.

Though Yesterday,after school,I heard what I was dying to hear before.She passed my back and said "Bye Fuad".Thats the first time I heard her say my name.She said it like my name sorta meant something to her.The kind of which that You know you're in the person's life,that you are somebody in that person's life when they say your name that way.I turned and and chased her.Then I caught up with her at the foot of the stairs.She was goin upstairs but I had to go downstairs.She noticed I was at the foot when she was halfway up.I wanted to say something.
She looked at me.I said "you're not goin home?".
She replied"oh no,I got band...Bye..."
"Oh....Bye.."I said.Then we went our separate ways.Me,thinking about her.Her,possibly thinkin of me too.
I know I should've said more.But that was all of it.Nothin more I could have done.But I have other problems too..

The Other Problem..

Mimi doesn't talk to me anymore these days.Since after the March holidays,she seemed distant from me.Before this,we were ok.I like talkin to her.Talkin to a girl is way different than talkin to guys.Yea so we talked in those days.We would sometimes meet up at Yew Tee in the morning and then go to school together.I've never done anythin like that before.And then we would sometimes ride the same bus home after school.She made me brownies one time.(She was makin some for her mum's birthday,she made me some too.)And,honestly,they were the best brownies I've ever eaten.I told her that.But she still insists that it wasn't her best and I laughed and I insist that they're delicious.haha.Good Times haha.

But she's not talkin to me now.She's sorta ignoring me at class and my table is even beside her table so it was pretty obvious.And whenever I asked her something,she would either say yes or no or even nod or shake her head.And sometimes,without even lookin at me.

The problem is,I don't know whats goin on with her.I really don't know why she's not talkin to me.I really hope Mimi would tell me.It just sucks not talking to her.I can't help but to think that it could be because that she doesn't want people to think that we're together(in a relationship or somethin)or maybe that I had offended her in some way.I just don't know what to think.And I'm just so fucking confused.Knowing that she's not talking to me just drives me crazy.I have to say that I miss talking to her.I miss her laughter like whenever she laughs at my usual crappiness.I can't help but feel I might have some feelings for Mimi.Its just so confusing coz I have feelings for Eleanor too.Though I have more for Eleanor.Maybe she's not talkin to me because of that.Or maybe I'm just overreacting.And I'm so confused right now.Uhh I'm a little overreacting right now.

Nothing Makes Much Sense Anymore..
God I hate my teenage life..

Two Girls Are Tearing Me Apart
Its Forcing My Heart
To Make A Choice That's So Hard
I Hope I'll Get It Right.

Lessons Learned...
1#Whatever Happens,Happens.
3#Love can be so boring
4#Girls are so confusing.
5#Guys like me confuse themselves.
6#Friends can sometimes piss you off more than your enemies.
7#Keeping secrets for friends is not at all fun.
8#Best friends don't usually listen to you.
9#The Good,The Bad,The Ugly.
10#I'm pretty much the only guy among my friends who actually reads a book.
11#I don't own my heart.My Heart Owns Me.And Eleanor Owns My Heart.
12#Things that usually make sense can fall out of place very,very quickly.Like Love For Example.
13#13 is just a number.

Song Verse Of The Day:"Everyone Knows I'm In Over My Head,Over My Head.With Eight Seconds Left In Over Time,She's On Your Mind...She's On Your Mind" The Fray-Over My Head(Cable Car)