God,I Hate Myself.

I can't remember most of the stuff I did today at school.I'm just like a walking zombie.But I would definitely remember this,I am elected Vice-Chairman of my class!Actually,'elected' is an overstatement.I sorta volunteered myself.hehe.The only reason I volunteered was just so that I could get more CIP points....and I kinda always wanted to be a chairman or somethin.But that's not the crap news today.I'm warmin up...you guys are probably gonna get bored hearin her name here..so...Here goes....

Liyana(yea yea I know)came to school with a different hairstyle.A sorta ponytail thing I dunno,I'm not familiar with this.Not that she needs to change her hairstyle,she totally looks pretty everyday,I'm not kindin here ok.But I have to say,she looks even prettier with this new hairstyle.

She has beautiful hair and just looks good with any hairstyle.Period.

So the rest of the day was a blur.At the end of the day,I walked with my friends to the school gate.She and her friends were infront of us.Pretty far in fact.Then She took off her hair band for some reason.Lets her hair flow abit.I just had to say Wow and stared at her in awe and wonder.Lucky I didn't say wow loud enough for anyone to hear it.God,I can't believe there's anyone like her.

So then it was me at the bustop,alone.My friends were somewhere at the schoolgate.She was infront of me again with her friends.She saw me and smiled.I smiled back...sorta.She smiled at me many times already and I still can't believe I can't do it properly.So she was like a meter away.I actually wanted to talk with her you know.There.But for some damn reason,I didn't.I didn't manage to talk.Hell,she was with her friends!I don't want to embarrass her or something.Though some of her friends know me,We just didn't talk.

I kinda have this problem.Sometimes I'll have the words in my mind of what I'm goin to say.But when the time comes,my brain just freezes over.I don't know what people call that.Hell,I could be insane for all I know.

So I didn't said anythin to her.Then she and her friends walked away,to the mall I gathered.So I was just standin there.Thinkin Bubye Liyana.Crap.My chance of finally startin a conversation with her was gone just like that.

Why do i have to be so damn shy?I mean really!If you know me for quite a long time you probably wouldn't think that I'm an absolute shy guy.Its just somethin this girl has that makes me just shy away.I think I would've spoke to her just now if she was alone.Damnit,if only she was alone.So I went home all angry with myself.To pass an opportunity like that is Insane!I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.At this rate,I'll never be able to have a girlfriend.And I could just forget about being in love with Liyana.I can't help it.I just love everything bout her.

She's perfect.I'm useless.What chance do I have?

God,I Really Hate Myself.Period.

Song Verse Of The Day:"Hope,Dangles On A String,Like Slow Spinning Redemption.Winding In,Winding Out.The Shine Ahead Has Caught My Eye.You Roped Me In,So Mesmerising,So Hypnotising,I Am Captivated,I Am..Vindicated" Dashboard Confessional-Vindicated.