Running Into Oblivion,

Nervouswreck

Hey There,I'm Fuad.This Is My Blog And My Thoughts Here.
The Navigations Are Below.(The Words).
So yea...What More There Is To Say?

MixPod.com

profile journal say what? affiliates

for ur bloody info

Title: Nervous Wreck
Type: Navigational

Ran Headlong Into Oblivion

Houston,We Have A Problem.

Monday, January 28, 2008/ 21:17

Houston,We Have A Problem..Err Make That Problems.Problems With Teens That Is.

What day is it today?Is....is it a Monday?Is it?Yea it is a Monday.God,I hate Mondays.

You know,I kept thinkin that I always have a problem,make that in life or love.But then I've never been in any relationship so yea I guess I'm missin out.Still,somethins are worth missin out so yea,I dun even know what I'm tryin to say here.I just have to wait for the right time.Like for example,how many people you know,broke up from a relationship just last year alone?Alot right?See what I mean people?Anyways its 'O'Level year for me now so I got other things to care bout.

Still,there's only one girl in my heart and you know who that is.Haha I dun have to say it anymore haha.

Anyways,me and Lut,we're like counsellors man.We're tryin to help these couple of girls,but I won't say who.

They got problems and they seem to want to deal with it by doin somethin they shouldn't and I really really disapprove of it.

We're In A Crisis Here People!

Anyways I think Lut sorta got to deep in and now he's pretty stressed.Poor Guy.And he's only tryin to help by the way.Its been goin on for a few days now.It still havent ended yet.I think its a bit too much for Lut.

If Only I was the best counsellor there is,then I will have the right things to say and to help.If Only.But still,the girls didn't seem to ask for my opinions and hell I never really spoke to them much.I tried helpin them through Lut.I think I'm stepping in soon.I hope I won't get too deep in it.I'm a pretty stable guy with a pretty high EQ so I dun have much to worry bout.....I think.

I wonder why people would want to hurt themselves.Its wrong,very wrong.What are they tryin to prove?That this is the way to punish themselves?This is wrong people.They're not makin things better too.They're just makin things worse than it should be.Do they want to go down that road where they're parents found out bout it?Their parents will panic or somethin.They'll send them for counsellin.People will look at them differrently afterwards.Its not good for life.

Hear me people.This is serious.I'll touch on this subject in later posts.

Man,I feel like a friggin' professor haha.Be serious Fuad.Yes sir.

------------------------

(Warning:Love Content)

Anyways I've been messagin Liyana Goodnight everynight since last 2 weeks haha.I don't even know why I do that.Well it'll make her think of me right?haha.

Hope she sees that I'm not like the others.I got a smile again today!Not much of a big deal now.haha man.

Anyways,thats all for today.I'll touch on the subject in later posts people.

---------------------

Song Verse Of The Day:"You'll Put Your Eyes To The Sun And Say 'I Know You're Only Blindin To Keep Back What The Clouds Are Hiding'" Fall Out Boy-The Carpal Tunnel Of Love

---------------------

Cartoon Dialog Of The Day:"This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us" Spongebob-Spongebob Squarepants.Haha what the hell.

what i expected

Wednesday, January 23, 2008/ 22:08

Its Funny How You Expect Everything To Fall Into Place And Then For Some Goddamn Reason,Everything Falls Out Of Place.
That Happened To Me.
Well Maybe This Happens So As To Allow More Greater Things To Come.
God,I Hope I'm Right.I Really Do.
This Really Is My Comical Romance.
With A Little More Sadness maybe.
Well Bless My Soul,I'm A Troubled Soul.

Song Verse Of The Day:"Do You Know Where Your Love Is?Do You Think That You Lost It?You Felt It So Strong But,Nothing's Turned Out How You Wanted" OneRepublic-Say(All I Need)

Disappointment

Monday, January 21, 2008/ 20:41

There Are Some Things I Don't Want To Say,
And There Are Some things I Don't Have To Say.This Is Somewhere In The Middle.

Today has been one of the most stupid day in my life.
Why?you asked.Two of the people I trust just disappointed me today.When they should have supported me,they discouraged me.Tellin me to forget about her.And givin me lectures on why I should.Honestly,why the hell would I take lectures from people who dun know how it is to be in my place,how it is to be feeling this way.They'll think they know but I'd like to tell them how wrong they are.They kept tellin me to forget about the girl I love because I haven't talked to her much and that I can't make a relationship like this or somethin like that.Then my "friend" told me that his relationship ended because of that.So I told him straight,just because his relationship ended that way doesn't mean mine is goin to end the same way.I know you're reading this.
And my other'friend' goes on and on askin whether she is really my love or just a friend.What more do you want me to say?I told him straight,"I Love Her Okay".
Then I told them about my feelings towards her but they don't seem to understand what I was tryin to say.How could they ever understand my true feelings?No one can.Its hard to put in words.Only I know how I exactly feel.

If you think about ur crush every hour of everyday,then thats not a crush anymore.Thats more than just a crush.Unless ur a stalker or somethin.Just so ur wonderin,I am totally Not a Stalker.I have thought about her everyday for a year already and my 'friends' could just tell me to forget about her.Tell me how the hell is that possible?When you have thought of someone so much,u can't just forget about them,you'll need that device from MIB to erase your memory or something.
So yea,you'd expect your friends to have your back if you're in my place but then my 'friends' just told me to forget about her.I am so disappointed in them.Seriously.

I know you guys are reading this so please understand.I know you guys are tryin to help me but you're not really helpin.Seriously guys,I'm considerin what you guys said and I'm thinkin alot about it but I stand firm.You guys should try to understand how I feel about her.You guys might think I'm goin where you guys had before but really,I'm not.This is different than you have experienced before.I know I've never experienced what you guys have but do we all have the same stories to tell?No,and I'm sure you know that.All I have to say now is that I stand firm in sayin that I love her.If you guys are in my sneakers,you'd say the same thing.

Today Is A Sad Day For Me Too.Slightly.

So yea I talked with Liyana online abit.Then at the end she asked me something that had me doubt about my love for her.I won't say it.Sorry.This is one thing I don't wanna say.Maybe I'm just overreacting.Its one question only.A doubtfull one for me.Good thing is,she says that she trusts me.Imagine that,I have her trust.You know what they say,You'll go nowhere without Trust.

I have something to say here.To her.Here it is.
I'll say I Love you.But if somehow,things just don't happen or you broke my heart,I won't say I hate you,I won't say that you are my biggest mistake.I'll just say I Loved You.I know I do.
If You Can Give Me One Reason Not To Forget About You,Believe Me,I Won't Ever Forget You.

Okay thats enough honesty here.I got one thing to ask you,viewers of my Little blog.Here it is.
Should I just forget about her or should I hold on her rope longer?There's a high chance that she'll cut it.
I need your help people.Advise me.

------TRANSMISSION ENDED-------

Song Verse Of The Day: same as the last post.sorry guys.that song is stuck in my head.

Stupidity At Its Best

Wednesday, January 16, 2008/ 21:06

I'm A Man With Many Words,But I'm Sayin None.All You Gotta Do Is Ask.Stupid stupid.

It was a fine day today right?You Have to agree right?haha.But Not Much For Me.

So Yea,I'm a man with many words to say but I'm sayin nothing.For example fast rewind back to Geography lesson.

(Twinking sound effect)
So yea I was sittin beside Lutfil in 4-9 for Geography.We're studyin Human Geography,as if understandin ourselves isn't confusing enough.We need physical Geography man!What is this crap!?Well anyway I was sittin right,yea and Liyana was sittin infront.Then the stupid sounding bell rang(seriously U have to hear it to believe it!Its total crap!)and it was the end of the lesson.I packed up my bag and I thought maybe I'd say somethin to her ya know?So I walked infront of her table and did my thing.
This is How it went,in my head:

Me mind:Cmon Fuad
saysomethinsaysomethinsaysomethinsaysomethin.

Me mouth:hey uhh(she didn't hear this part)Bye(A solid bye,can u believe that?)

Me mind:what!nonononononononononono!

Her:(Finally realised I said bye and looks up quickly.Abit surprised I think)
Oh Bye!
(And looks away.A faint surprising smile seen)

Me:I was abit embarrased and I turned away just as quickly.

Me mind:Stupidstupidstupidstupidstupid.Pretty stupid.

Three Things I Felt Like:
1.When your mum realises that you're actually infront of her and has been talkin for the last hour and then she says "Did you say somethin?"

2.Felt like runnin and jumping off the railing and to my death.

3.When your mum scolds you,the fifteen year old teen,out in the public.Make that in Macdonalds after school.There are fucking alot of students man!

So yea,I think she must've thought that I'm weird or somethin.How right she was.I am weird I think.(Hello friends,time to back me up here!)
I should've said like "hey I'll see you later?"or "hey I'll see u in malay class later" but nooooo I said "Bye".
Stupid stupid.
I am that stupid.Maybe I shouldn't have said anythin at all.

Well anyways after school Me and Lut went past her class.I looked for her and there she was,Kinda starin directly at me.
I gotta admit,I was surpised.She was like resting on her right arm and lookin at me.I like it haha.That kind of stare sends electric to your body.
Neither smiling nor lookin weirdly at me.She just looked at me.Maybe she saw somethin in me that I couldn't see.I wonder what that is.
However I was the one who turned away first.Too embarrased I guess.
I don't know why my brain always freezes up in this kind of situations.I think God can explain.

Well,What Chance Does A Guy Who Loves Chocolate With Nuts Have With A Girl Who Loves Chocolate Plain?
Well I Don't Know.Well You Answer That One Why Dontcha?

Song Verse Of The Day:"When Will I See Your Face Again?When Will You Touch My Life Again.When Will I Breathe You In Again?I Think I Love You...Will I See Your Face Again?" Jamie Scott & The Town-When Will I See Your Face Again

Who would've guessed it?

Thursday, January 10, 2008/ 22:41

I Got A High EQ.Who Would've Guessed it?

Yea thats right!I got a high EQ!nice.Well for those of you who doesn't know what EQ means it means Emotional Quotient or sometimes,Emotional Intelligence.Its used to describe a person's ability to understand his or her own emotions and the emotions of others and to act appropiately based on this understanding.
Ok I know!I just copyied and pasted this here hehe.
Well if you understood what I just wrote then good for you.For those who doesn't,its time for a brainscan!

So its been long said that IQ is more important.What's IQ you ask?Well its Idiotic Quotient.Idiots.It means Intelligence Quotient.Its the measure of your intelligence.
But now researchers have found out that great IQ is not necessarily the case.In actuality,your emotional quotient might be a greater predictor of success.

So if you guys wanna check out whats your EQ.Here's a link.
http://quiz.ivillage.com/health/tests/eqtest2.htm
Well there you go.I got 80% which means my EQ falls on the high range.Read:this is good.

See guys,in Fuad's blog,You'll learn new things evryday.Ok not evryday.Sometimes...Ok Ok!I noe rarely!Sheesh.Yea my blog has lots of rubbish I know.

Well what do you expect from a guy who gobbles up rubbish all day.I'm no genius.But I can be the nicest guy you'll ever meet.That is Most Definite.

Well the reason I found all of this is because Liyana asked me to help her research bout it.Its a mothertongue homework.Yea Sucks,I know.Hmm I think she hates me now cause The Info I gave her was kinda crappy.haha.Yea Sucks,I know.

Anyways,there'll be a CCA Orientation tomorrow at school.For the Sec Ones(Stupid Midgets.I Noe U Agree With Me)I'm comin down after Friday prayers.Find some trouble there maybe.Ahha.
Man its the second week of 2008!Pretty soon it'll be the second week of 2009.If u noe what I mean.

Wah I smiled and waved at her the other day.I was at the bustop on the school side.She just went into the bus at the opposite bustop.She saw me and smiled.It was pretty far mind you.So I smiled back(God,Finally!)and waved at her.She waved back.Yea those few moments of so called Glory.Hopelessness,more like.Yea some of you might be wonderin why the hell its such a big deal.You know what?
To hell with you!You're probably a lonely idiot who doesn't know what it feels like to be in love.And May I remind you that my EQ is quite high.So I understand more about emotions than you probably do so shut the hell up.
This world doesn't revolve around you.

HATERS BE GONE.

And with that piece of my mind,I'll bid you farewell.But don't worry.I'll be back!Like Shwarzenager baby!All Guns Blazin!haha!

Song Verse Of The Day:"Like I'm Makin The Score.I'm The King Of The World.I'm A Popular Man.If You Can't Well I Can.Don't Let Anyone Wake Me.I'm Dreamin Out Loud" OneRepublic-Dreamin Out Loud

God,I Hate Myself.

Monday, January 7, 2008/ 16:19

God,I Hate Myself.

I can't remember most of the stuff I did today at school.I'm just like a walking zombie.But I would definitely remember this,I am elected Vice-Chairman of my class!Actually,'elected' is an overstatement.I sorta volunteered myself.hehe.The only reason I volunteered was just so that I could get more CIP points....and I kinda always wanted to be a chairman or somethin.But that's not the crap news today.I'm warmin up...you guys are probably gonna get bored hearin her name here..so...Here goes....

Liyana(yea yea I know)came to school with a different hairstyle.A sorta ponytail thing I dunno,I'm not familiar with this.Not that she needs to change her hairstyle,she totally looks pretty everyday,I'm not kindin here ok.But I have to say,she looks even prettier with this new hairstyle.

She has beautiful hair and just looks good with any hairstyle.Period.

So the rest of the day was a blur.At the end of the day,I walked with my friends to the school gate.She and her friends were infront of us.Pretty far in fact.Then She took off her hair band for some reason.Lets her hair flow abit.I just had to say Wow and stared at her in awe and wonder.Lucky I didn't say wow loud enough for anyone to hear it.God,I can't believe there's anyone like her.

So then it was me at the bustop,alone.My friends were somewhere at the schoolgate.She was infront of me again with her friends.She saw me and smiled.I smiled back...sorta.She smiled at me many times already and I still can't believe I can't do it properly.So she was like a meter away.I actually wanted to talk with her you know.There.But for some damn reason,I didn't.I didn't manage to talk.Hell,she was with her friends!I don't want to embarrass her or something.Though some of her friends know me,We just didn't talk.

I kinda have this problem.Sometimes I'll have the words in my mind of what I'm goin to say.But when the time comes,my brain just freezes over.I don't know what people call that.Hell,I could be insane for all I know.

So I didn't said anythin to her.Then she and her friends walked away,to the mall I gathered.So I was just standin there.Thinkin Bubye Liyana.Crap.My chance of finally startin a conversation with her was gone just like that.

Why do i have to be so damn shy?I mean really!If you know me for quite a long time you probably wouldn't think that I'm an absolute shy guy.Its just somethin this girl has that makes me just shy away.I think I would've spoke to her just now if she was alone.Damnit,if only she was alone.So I went home all angry with myself.To pass an opportunity like that is Insane!I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.At this rate,I'll never be able to have a girlfriend.And I could just forget about being in love with Liyana.I can't help it.I just love everything bout her.

She's perfect.I'm useless.What chance do I have?

God,I Really Hate Myself.Period.

Song Verse Of The Day:"Hope,Dangles On A String,Like Slow Spinning Redemption.Winding In,Winding Out.The Shine Ahead Has Caught My Eye.You Roped Me In,So Mesmerising,So Hypnotising,I Am Captivated,I Am..Vindicated" Dashboard Confessional-Vindicated.

The Bookworm Full Stop

Saturday, January 5, 2008/ 21:35

I'M A BOOKWORM.FULL STOP.

And so it was the first Saturday of 2008.
And what a normal Saturday it was.Seriously people,what more can you expect out of a Saturday?I thought so.

So I woke up that morning,like every other soul does every morning in this unsurprisingly dull and mundane world full of jerks,bitches,bastards,assholes,jackasses and the unpredictable and never-failing Heartbreakers.
C,mon.You have to agree right?

Ok I'm strayin too far here.More on the Saturday.
To tell you the truth,today ain't half bad.
Went to Lot 1 with my mum and the menace of a kid brotha(hehe not really).We went to the library.And I borrowed a couple of books.Yup,as it says above,I am kind of a bookworm.ahha.I'm sure its nothin to be ashamed of but none of my other friends like to read like I do so you'll notice that I think differently from them.Nuff' said.
So,on to the books.The first one is titled Catch.I havent read it yet so nothin to say bout it yet.The second one is titled Born To Rock.In case you were wonderin,these books are from the young adults section.Anyways I'm halfway into the book.The book started off great.Its about this boy who found out that his biological father is a Punk rock legend.Hilarity ensued.So he went around to look for him so that he could pay him 40 grand to get into Harvard University coz he just lost his scholarship due to a test cheatin he didn't do.What is stupid is that he totally don't listen to punk rock so its kinda hard when he meets his biological father.I can't reveal anymore here so you'll have to read it.Hey you gotta read it Azira!
So with that,concludes that I am a bookworm.So damn all of you who thinks its stupid.Well let me ask you,who's more stupid?The one with the book or the one without?

Funnily though,the book left me askin myself.
Am I Born To Rock?
Well,You Decide.

Song Verse Of The Day:"...I Am..VINDICATED!I Am Selfish,I am Wrong,I Am Right,I Swear I'm Right!I Swear I Knew It All Along..." Dashboard Confessional-Vindicated.

what am I doing here again?

Friday, January 4, 2008/ 16:19

Ok..uhh What Am I Doing Here Again?

Well Fuad,You're here coz' ur blogging damnit.

Ok what to write eh?

Its a Friday damnit!There's nothin good on fridays.

I'm sittin here in Hadi's house infront of his dam...err sorry,infront of his computer tryin to think of stuff to effing write!

I went to friday prayers but uuhh people don't usually talk bout that so I wonder why the hell I brought that up.I'm messed up.What are u lookin at?You're probably messed up too.

Ho what?You think I'm an ass now?Well You think I fuckin care!?

Why don't u get the hell outta here!

No,wait!Come back!Come back!I was just kiddin!Come Back!

Uhh man.I really gotta start bein nice this year,or maybe go for a brain scan or somethin.You know,Reorganise my brain abit.

CRAP

Song Verse Of The Day:"I'm Not Crazy,I'm Just A Little Impaired.I Know,Right Now You Don't Care.But Soon Enough,You're Gonna Think Of Me,And How I Use To Be" Matchbox Twenty-Unwell

Its School Already??

Thursday, January 3, 2008/ 21:42

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M IN SEC 4 NOW.

Hello again guys.Sorry I haven't updated yet.I don't usually have much time for my blog.Well,what you see is what you get.

Anyways,Its The New Year!Haha more like three days old now haha.And school's started too!Damn.
While it's great to be back among my friends,its gonna be pretty stressful this year coz as you might've guessed it,
I got 'O'Levels this year!Double Damn!Mega Crap!
And with a new school year comes new teachers.Most of my new teachers are kinda better than my last year teachers.
But my new form teacher!Wahhh I could've died of boredom just listenin to his lame speeches about values and all that crap and it just came to me that this guy obviously doesn't know much about us teenagers.Crap.And his english is like...I dunno I think he failed his english or something.He has a pretty good choice of words but his Grammer is like totally shit.Its like he's talkin to deaf Englishmen coz' if he's talkin to normal Englishmen,they probably would've beaten the crap out of him for havin crappy English.
I mean,he can't even pronounce some words properly!Damnit.Haha.
Its like a lame excuse for a teacher.Well i guess language is pretty important haha.I can't believe I just said somethin like that.
My new malay teacher is pretty cool.She's like one of those teachers from those inspirin movies.But she has yet to impress and inspire me.Yea thats right.

Hmm what else happened today uhh...
oh yea,I helped Lutfil and the rest of the guys to clean up the NCC Room.Chaos,retardation,hilarity and plain stupidity was involved in the process haha.Like,just now back in the room.Taufiq played the song When You Were Young by The Killers on my phone then he,Azy,Hadi and me sorta made an air guitar performance haha.Taufiq was the bass and I was the guitars haha.Azy was the drums and Hadi...uhh.. actually,I don't really know what Hadi did.He was Kinda constipating at the back haha.
When we got out of school we went to the Mama shop and bought a late lunch.Instant Noodles.Delicious!Yea right.The heated water was like half heated and so my noodles were like stiff but the soup was nice....kinda.

Liyana smiled at me again today...sort of.She was talkin then she saw me.Our eyes met...ceh!She didn't smile at me directly...she saw me and she turned away smilin.I guess she noticed me.I'm still wonderin why she did that(sigh).I still remember her laughter on the mrt back to our homes that Saturday.We went out with the rest of the guys for a birthday barbeque at East Coast for Zarifah,one of her friends.Me,Lutfil and the rest of the guys ended up barbequeing all day haha.I didn't even went home that night,I crashed at Hadi's house for the night.When we were on the MRT home,we all talked crap alot,even with Liyana.
We all laughed alot haha.And I just couldn't forget her laugh.Hell,I couldn't even sleep that night.She's all I see when I close my eyes.
Anyway,I'm gettin too mushy here haha.You guys were probably bored by that haha.

So Hey,Happy New Year Guys!Have a Great 2008!yea.
Lets end here today ok..haha.

Song Verse Of The Day:Here I Go,Scream My Lungs Out.And Try To Get To You...You Are My Only One.And I Know,There's Just No One,No One Like You....You Are My Only..My Only One.....Yellowcard-Only One.Yea,I'm That Deep.haha.